The X-Box and Gamecube collaboration

The reason why both X-Box and Gamecube rule. The former because it is a sentient robot, and the latter for having such a nice description.

The Nintendo DS was released here yesterday, coinciding with Jo's birthday. But even though I support the DS, and the PSP as well, you wouldn't have seen me waiting impatiently to grab one from Myers. I think that's the cheapest store... Most shops sell the DS for $199 but I think Myers is selling it for $188. Sadly, my stash of cash is at an uncomfortable level. I must have some reserves to get KOTOR II and Guild Wars (when that comes out). Besides, being a supporter of both the DS and PSP, I really should wait and see which way I will get influenced over to.

On a similar topic, what would happen if Microsoft were to create their own handheld/portable gaming system? What would they call it? If they were to follow the likes of Sony, they would call it the X-Box Portable, XBP for short, or maybe the X-Box Handheld. Sticking with this formula, there are many possibilities. X-hand, X-pocket, Pocket-Box, Hand-box. BORING.

One problem which would need to be resolved would be the X-Box's image of being one big fat ass. The console itself is as big as my ancient VCR, and the original controller is often affectionately known as the sack of potatoes.

I still think that making a portable handheld rig of a large videogaming system is not a wise idea. (Translation: Get a console, shrink it, put a screen and buttons/thumbstick on it, attach a portable power source = no good) One major problem with this is the medium through which the game is stored. PS2 and XB have their games on full sized DVDs. Now, if you were to get someone who rips these games (damn console game pirates) they would tell you that practically the whole DVD is filled. A handheld with certain dimension aspects larger than a DVD is not very pocketable. Until technology advances, a handheld should generally be of a previous generation of gaming. The GBA was literally a pocket SNES with a little more power. The DS is literally a pocket N64 with other crap. The PSP claims to be a pocket PS2, but their UMD has a lot less storage space than a DVD. Hence, it cannot be a true portable/pocket sized PS2.

How to be a ninja

Muahahahaha... How to make a ninja mask out of a t-shirt. Don't need to say much about that picture.

Batteries not included (crazy Japs pt2)

For $2, I don't think I have managed to get such laughter. And for girls, I don't think they could imagine how much pleasure they could get from it. Sorry, batteries are not included.

What the hell are hand held massagers used for? I am pretty sure they are not used for solving shoulder aches. Just look at it!





This one actually is pretty good for massaging, and I do not mean "massaging" with the inverted commas. But on closer inspection, this "massager" has a removeable rubbery black nubbin. Why the hell would you need to remove it? And why is it a nubbin when you are supposed to be massaging a large surface area? My cousin's immediate guess is that the removeable black nubbin is for "massaging" the clitoral region.





You can clearly see that it looks like a friggin dildo! No further explanation required.





The power switch on this "massager" is quite hillarious. It's a smiley face when turned on, a moderate face when turned off, and a sad face when you open it. :) :| :(
I am sure you lot have enough twistedness in your imagination to figure out why its user would be happy when it is powered on.

Unfortunately, the build quality of this "massager" is a little dodgy. I would not suggest a curious "massagee" to insert it as it came apart relatively easy. It wasn't really designed for such use anyway, it just looks like it should. However, upon further discussion with my cousin, slipping a condom over it or wrapping it in gladwrap (aka saran wrap) should solve the problem of poor construction.





I reckon if you were to walk into an adult shop, you would see the exact same thing, but in "better" packaging.

Another thing, notice how on the packaging, there's a picture of a woman? Of all the vibrating hand held massagers on the shelf, they all had a picture, on the packaging, of a woman using it.

And another thing, both seem to vibrate at a strong level. Before you make any shocked faces, to conduct our study we powered them up and rumbled our skulls with it. Seems like we under estimated these little $2 laughter machines. Well, we found it funny. For $2, we expected it to be like those crappy hand held fans. And they required 2 AA batteries!

And now linking it back to the topic of crazy Japs, those two devices were in a Japanese store, in Japanese packaging. Now taking evidence that the parallels between manga and reality are not too drastic (clothing, and how it's always some other person who is extremely lucky) and some conclusion that they are crazy and sick, we can then come to the second conclusion that these vibrating handheld massagers are not what they seem. Hell, Yuhan managed to read the writing on the packaging, and said it means "handheld vibrator". All we have to do now is wait for someone to be curious enough to experiment with it. (it is no longer in my possession for I have given it away)

And to quote from Hyper, an excellent gaming magazine:
"It appears that the time you have spent living in the land of the Rising Sun and Probing Tentacle has left you with a complete inability to communicate with anywone not educated in the ways of dick-girls, hostess bars, drinking yourself up the ladder of success, dried squid snacks, really bad pizza, really good beer, painful game shows, panty vending machines, Chairman Kaga, businessmen reading hentai on trains, rampant loli fetishism, sleeping standing up, Puffy Ami Yumi, Hello Kitty, Tamagotchi, fruity creatures you capture with eggs and bukkake."
Crazy.

(Please note, I drafted up this and the previous 2 posts whilst in Singapore where the humour was still flowing. I just tacked on a few additional bits, which most likely messes up the chain of thought.)

Anime/manga and real life (crazy Japs pt1)

Shounen romance manga, the stuff I download, has a lot of *ahem* fanservice. What do you expect when the female characters wear what I now identify as a cliched Japanese teenage girl's clothing- woolen vest/jumper, funny baggy socks, and an uber short mini skirt. As a continuation of my Adventures in Daiso, I encountered what is expected when a mini skirt is involved- panty flash. I can't believe I am writing this as I have a scary feeling some ninjas are now going to slay me. I think it will be the feminist ninjas this time round.








I didn't go out of my way to perve, I have a sense of honour, and all that jazz. Yeah, that Jedi stuff (must play KOTOR II) But so much fuss is made on these little "oopsies" in the manga I read. I reckon it all boils down to the fact that the person who designed the fashion trend for these girls was some middle aged man, or a perverted old man. This then inspired the mangaka (is this the correct term for the artist/story writer in manga?) to create really weird character traits and stuff. I think I am onto something. I mean, how else can the characters think of echhi thoughts every single time something tiny occurs? (just read Ichigo 100%, which can be found at animewaves.net)







Hmm... Seems like a good way to conclude this part, for the next and final instalment is truly hilarious. I apologise for failing to word all that crap above in a nice and funny manner. And don't kill me if I have caused any offense.

Adventures in Daiso

There's a shop inside IMM at Jurong East called Daiso. It's a Japanese $2 store. Some of the stuff there is worth more than $2, others are a bloody rip off. Before I go on with my findings, may I say one thing, "Beer in a bottle-can? BRILLIANT!" "BRILLIANT!" (In an Irish accent of course, much like the Guinness adverts)

Well, for $2, you can find stuff for your kitchen, dining room table, study room, bedroom, bathroom, garage, barbeque etc. But can you buy yourself a Russian fighter jet? Ah HAH! You didn't see that coming did you?




Yeah... you can buy one of these for $2. It comes in at a grand size of about 10cm from nose to turbine. It's a model kit for crying out loud! Not bad for $2. I bought myself a M1 Sherman for $6 and it was a pile of trash. Well, the tank itself was a pile of trash back in it's days, in comparison to superior German and Russian but less numbered tanks. Well, the MiG model kit is excellent quality for $2. It even comes with it's own rubber cement! Though judging by the size of the tube, it's construction is going to be very poor. Good thing I got a "big" bottle of that stuff somewhere on my desk.

Induced Insanity

Chinese New Year brings about mixed reactions. On the plus side, there's the food, new clothes, sales etc. On the down side, there's all the bloody spring cleaning you have to do, large crowds of people (including kamikaze bulldozer prams) and music capable of causing insanity. Yeah, that's right. Those "catchy" CNY tunes they play on TV, radio, shops, restaurants, everywhere.

I'm not complaining, it's just a way of expressing the festive mood. But I'd rather have other "exciting" visages in that part of the brain where all your thoughts are organised. Right now it is just static with "GONG XI GONG XI GONG XI NI!" on a loop. It is waylaying my mental planning of the master plan... the one plan... TO RULE THEM ALL!

Remedy: Listen to some other catchy tunes, and replace that annoying crap with some slightly more tolerable crap.

On another note, Valentine's Day... It makes couples happy, singles sad, and those who don't give a damn feel left out of it all. But damn, I don't recall it being so commercialised now. "Splurge on this $2,888 watch for your significant other and show how much you love him/her"
What kind of society have we become? Are we making materialism a key ideology? (Seems like I have forgotten how to word it right... Excellent! I have erased yet another literature memory)

For those of you who care, which ain't many, or any at all. I got another photo to add to the "eating" series. hehehe Me eating yu-sheng. Now there's a video of me eating kway teow, and photos of me eating a cookie and yu-sheng. What's next Alicia? Eating cake? Drinking soup? Raw capsicum, Chairman Kaga style? That's the name of the Iron Chef host right?

I had some good writing material on my mind, but I guess it got erased and replaced by CNY tunes. So all you are left with is either a skeleton of my thoughts, or half of them. If you would excuse me, I either have to get off the computer so that my cousin can attempt to write some stuff to DVD (damn USB port is stuffing up) or I will go watch episode 11 of The OC (season 2 of course). And since that part of my brain which organises thoughts has gone MIA... GONG XI FA CAI, XIN NIAN KUAI LE!!! *bangs a drum and gong*

A search and rescue operation for that part of the brain will commence shortly after the 12th of Feb. (No more blogging til then) (happy, disgruntled readers?)

The Hit Man

I got a good joke for y'all, but firstly, I'll just ramble on some crap first.

I've been throwing some flak at some people (I shall keep things anonymous) regarding blogging habits. We all seem to have found our niche when it comes to writing about something. For me, I tend to write about games, society and games, food, and various rants involving yours truly somehow. Someone put on their MSN nickname something along the lines of "blogging allows you to be a journalist, minus the legal responsibilities". This means that although a blog/journal in other words means diary, people often use it to express their opinions. In other words, be columnists (sp?) like Danny Katz, or actual journos reporting on news and issues and stuff.

Yes, freedom of speech is promoted. But the line has to be drawn to some extent. Cookie cutter blog posts can get dull. Especially of the daily happenings variety. By this I mean "8am- woke up, went online... chatted... 12pm went out for lunch... met some people... blablabla"
Yep, very dull. However, sometimes it is very interesting, especially those by the socially active blogger variety. Being an attractive female adds kudos to it all.

One method to spice up the "daily happenings" kind of blog entry is to add a funny touch to it. Turn it into a Seinfeld. After all, that comedy classic revolved around NOTHING. Each episode had no topic at all- just a bunch of people doing ordinary things, but so much funny stuff happens.

Mind you, my style is probably boring to some people. But like I said above, freedom of speech. Who cares? Write what you like.

OK... Now the joke.

A young golfer is about to tee off at the first hole when an old chap calls out to him
"Sir, do you mind if I join you- my partner hasn't turned up."
The man welcomes the stranger over and the pair tee off.
"So what is it you do?" the young man asks his new golfing partner.
"I'm a hit man," replies the old man, quite a matter of factly.
"You're joking!" laughs the younger man.
"I am not," insists the killer, reaching into his bag and pulling out a beautiful sniper rifle with a huge telescopic sight.
"That's some scope," says the young man, "mind if I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here."

The hit man doesn't mind and hands over the sight.
"Wow, I can see my house all right, this is fantastic," smiles the man, "I can see right in the window... there's my wife and... wait a minute, she's naked - and that's my neighbour with her! Bitch!"
Enraged, he turns to the hit man and says,
"How much do you charge?"
"It's a flat rate," replies the hit man, "a thousand bucks each time I pull the trigger."

The young man thinks for a moment, staring back at his house.
"I want you to pop two people for me now.:
The hit man agrees, asking, "Who's first?".
"My wife," says the man, "she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth. Then my neighbour; just shoot his penis off to teach the guy a lesson."

The hit man takes aim, standing perfectly still for several minutes.
"Well... are you going to do it or not?" shouts the young man angrily.
"Hang on," says the hit man, squinting, "I think I can save you one grand here..."


BWAHAHAHAHAH

Anything involving hit men have got to be good. Sniper rifles too! ^^ Collateral is a good movie. Phew... that was hard to type in proper English. I don't think there was any short hand up there.

'Til next time, happy blogging!

Collision Course

Some of you may have heard of my self diagnosed invisibility complex. I now know why I made such a diagnosis. It originates from crazy, psycho people who collide into you as though you do not exist. It bloody pisses me off. They either stare straight at you then *WHAM* or they are staring at the sky/ground/any other direction, then *WHAM*. The worst are pram pushers. They full on kamikaze into you. Just because they got a baby as a meatshield does not grant them the license to bulldoze.

Guess I should stop wearing camoflaugey colours.

However, why the fuck should I move out of the way? It should be their turn to step aside and let the oncoming traffic move in a straight line.

If I could do something and get away with it, I would most definitely go out of my way to smash every single person walking in the opposite direction to me. After all, I said I would get away with it. *SMASH* "Watch where you're going jackass!"
Ooh! Also, those people who try to get into the MRT ahead of you, or at a terminating ride, those people who try to squeeze out before you. I mean, you are all going to get off the bus anyway. One example I am referring to is when I was in the bus to JB. When we were approaching the immigration thing, this guy sitting on the seat infront of me got up, when the bus was still moving, and made the notion for me to let go of the hand rail (infront of him) so that he could move closer to the door, which was still closed. For crying out loud, we all had to get off the bus, and it made no difference if you were first or last. If I could get away with something there, I would have given him a right hook to the jaw and go "SIDDOWN! asshole"

One of the great things about videogames is that your actions in it do not affect real people, except those who are waiting for you to stop so you can do your household chores. GTA is great for relieving such stress induced by kamikaze walkers. Chainsaw... yummy!

Yeah... I'm pretty cranky when it comes to these rude people. But I guess I am probably going to be proven a hypocrite where I too, do similar acts without realising it.