Batteries not included (crazy Japs pt2)

For $2, I don't think I have managed to get such laughter. And for girls, I don't think they could imagine how much pleasure they could get from it. Sorry, batteries are not included.

What the hell are hand held massagers used for? I am pretty sure they are not used for solving shoulder aches. Just look at it!





This one actually is pretty good for massaging, and I do not mean "massaging" with the inverted commas. But on closer inspection, this "massager" has a removeable rubbery black nubbin. Why the hell would you need to remove it? And why is it a nubbin when you are supposed to be massaging a large surface area? My cousin's immediate guess is that the removeable black nubbin is for "massaging" the clitoral region.





You can clearly see that it looks like a friggin dildo! No further explanation required.





The power switch on this "massager" is quite hillarious. It's a smiley face when turned on, a moderate face when turned off, and a sad face when you open it. :) :| :(
I am sure you lot have enough twistedness in your imagination to figure out why its user would be happy when it is powered on.

Unfortunately, the build quality of this "massager" is a little dodgy. I would not suggest a curious "massagee" to insert it as it came apart relatively easy. It wasn't really designed for such use anyway, it just looks like it should. However, upon further discussion with my cousin, slipping a condom over it or wrapping it in gladwrap (aka saran wrap) should solve the problem of poor construction.





I reckon if you were to walk into an adult shop, you would see the exact same thing, but in "better" packaging.

Another thing, notice how on the packaging, there's a picture of a woman? Of all the vibrating hand held massagers on the shelf, they all had a picture, on the packaging, of a woman using it.

And another thing, both seem to vibrate at a strong level. Before you make any shocked faces, to conduct our study we powered them up and rumbled our skulls with it. Seems like we under estimated these little $2 laughter machines. Well, we found it funny. For $2, we expected it to be like those crappy hand held fans. And they required 2 AA batteries!

And now linking it back to the topic of crazy Japs, those two devices were in a Japanese store, in Japanese packaging. Now taking evidence that the parallels between manga and reality are not too drastic (clothing, and how it's always some other person who is extremely lucky) and some conclusion that they are crazy and sick, we can then come to the second conclusion that these vibrating handheld massagers are not what they seem. Hell, Yuhan managed to read the writing on the packaging, and said it means "handheld vibrator". All we have to do now is wait for someone to be curious enough to experiment with it. (it is no longer in my possession for I have given it away)

And to quote from Hyper, an excellent gaming magazine:
"It appears that the time you have spent living in the land of the Rising Sun and Probing Tentacle has left you with a complete inability to communicate with anywone not educated in the ways of dick-girls, hostess bars, drinking yourself up the ladder of success, dried squid snacks, really bad pizza, really good beer, painful game shows, panty vending machines, Chairman Kaga, businessmen reading hentai on trains, rampant loli fetishism, sleeping standing up, Puffy Ami Yumi, Hello Kitty, Tamagotchi, fruity creatures you capture with eggs and bukkake."
Crazy.

(Please note, I drafted up this and the previous 2 posts whilst in Singapore where the humour was still flowing. I just tacked on a few additional bits, which most likely messes up the chain of thought.)