*shudder*

I encountered gay magazines at Borders. Scary. Daniel was reading some film magazines, and I was browsing the shelf right next to the film mags. The label said "fashion, lifestyle" and stuff like that. So I thought, OK, these should be interesting.

Or so I thought.

This is what happened in a matter of a few seconds:

Arm control, this is brain command, you have new orders
Proceed brain command.
Retrieve and extract magazine from the 2nd top shelf. Go go go!
Affirmative. Moving to objective.
Halt! We've received new intel. Those three mags show muscly men in underwear.
I'm assuming it's a health mag, sir. You know, those that give you work out tips and such.
No... we got previous intel. Those mags are waaaay over there.
We're going to proceed.
Negative! I repeat, Negative! Do NOT proceed!
Hmm... "sports the new gay porn"... ok...
Ignore it, we are proceeding.
Is that what I think it is? Gay what? "Gay M *letters covered by man's face* (an)"?
It's a gay mag!
Are you sure?
Half naked men, words saying gay, fashion and lifestyle section... These are gay mags!
Oh shit. Gay porn.
ABORT ABORT ABORT
RETREAT!

I want a report of the mission.
Sir, we did not reach the objective area. Recon and intel showed that the zone was hot... not that kind of hot. We averted heavy casualties sir.